| perfect loving |
[18 Feb 2005|03:45pm] |
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take it easy(love nothing) -Bright eyes |
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The problem with people is that when it comes to love they just can't be up front with the people they want and it all turns to shits.
I was talking to my friend about somethings on the way to dinner and this came up.
I believe that if you are going to be involved with someone, tell them what you want, whether it's a relationship,dating or an hookup. Don't let them think that something else is there ,when its not. You can save them alot of trouble and you not getting your shit set on fire. Cause love makes people crazy. And if you choose to drive them crazy it's your own fault.
"A bullet can kill you instantly,Love makes you wish you were dead."
I have an eye exam next thursday.
I'm not going blind no way.
I'm blind enough anyhow.
I plan on getting some cool,funky glasses which I can, because my medicare pays for half and so I'm set.
I got all these old cassettes (tapes for you kids in the ipod world) that I received from one of my social workers. They are original recordings of some 80's and early 90's bands.I have a bunch of them. It reminds me so much of being young. I'm going to buy me a 5 dollar walkmen so I can listen to them on the way to work (I only listen to them on my stetro now). It's kinda cool and simple to just be able to pop in a tape and listen to it where now a days you download everything into an ipod and have 5,000 plus songs to go through. Anyway the tapes I have would make a indie hipster scenester wet their panties and I could go on ebay..but naah.
Here they are:
R.E.M-Document
The Clash-s/t
The Replacements-dont' tell a soul
The cure-Mixed up
Elvis Costello-This years model
the smithereens-esp. for you
the cure-disintegration
pixies-bossanova
The cure-standing on the beach-the singles
Love and rockets-Express
The psychedelic furs-mirror moves
I also need to buy new music but FYE is lame and record revolution never has anything. Some revolution. AND they are always out of Jam cds.
This weekend is the The hunt for good music weekend.
I have a list (i make lists so I can keep up with my stuff and things I need to get.) of bands people have told me to get into and after downloading a couple of things I think its time to find the cd. I'm going to pay my mom to drive me around to the record stores I can't get to on the bus.
and oh buy new clothes. I love clothes...and purses!
This is a modern world - this is the modern world
What kind of a fool do you think i am?
You think i know nothing of the modern world
All my life has been the same
I've learned to live by hate and pain
It's my inspiration drive -
I've learned more than you'll ever know
Even at school i felt quite sure
That one day i would be on top
And i'd look down upon the map
The teachers who said i'd be nothing -
This is the modern world that i've learnt about
This is the modern world, we don't need no one
To tell us what's right or wrong -
Say what you like 'cause i don't care
I know where i am and going too
It's somewhere i won't preview
Don't have to explain myself to you
I don't give two fucks about your review
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2 comments|Ferk off!
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| Scandal |
[14 Feb 2005|03:34pm] |
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So Sexual_the faint |
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It's V-day.
Don't get all crybaby if you ain't got a man.
I forgot it was valentine's day anyhow.
On account that I'm working and fucking half asleep.
But hey whatever.
Wasting money on trying to be mod and artist this weekend Yay!
Oh I have to get better internet for my computer.
AolSucks.
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Ferk off!
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| plain view |
[11 Feb 2005|11:39am] |
The way I am and the way I choose to be will always be that way.
I haven't done anything at all wrong so I'm not about to sit around and act like I have.
Alot of things I do for people goes unnoticed and yeah I get pissed off about it. Everything I do is like suppose to be expected of me.
And when I don't talk and say anything, take it as a clue just to leave me alone. the more you bother and fuck with me the more I'll snap and fuck with you back.
I have no remorse. I have done nothing wrong. Your own paranoia is and has gotten the best of you.
So if you feel that way fine.
I'm not about to feel bad when I'm starting to feel good.
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Ferk off!
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| if I'm to run the furture, you've got to let the old world go... |
[10 Feb 2005|04:54am] |
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sleater kinney+One beat |
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I really do wish I had some money.
Really.
I do think that life would be better (or easier perhaps?)
If I had a bit more change to go around.
I think I'm just going to get a bad job that pays well.
Since all the good jobs you seem to need "connections" or search and beg for one.
Oh yeah the hunt is on for a boyfriend.
Apperently I'm in need of one.
So yeah,it's "Find Shawny a boyfriend time!"
Yeah umm Im sure this is going to work out.
I’m a bubble in a sound wave
A sonic push for energy
Exploding like the sun
A flash of clean light hope
All you scientists can hold your breath
Shall I decide to show myself? Oh oh
If you think like Thomas Edison
Could you invent a world for me
Now all that’s on the surface
Are bloody arms and oil fields
Could I turn this place upside down
And shake you and your fossils out? Oh oh
Should I come outside and run your cars
Should I run your rockets to the stars
Could you invent a world for me
I need to hear a symphony
If I’m to run the future
You’ve got to let the old world go Oh oh
Your word for me is fusion
But is real change an illusion
Could I turn this place all upside down
And shake you and your fossils out
If I’m to run the future
You’ve got to let the old world go
Could you invent a world for me
I need to hear a symphony Oh oh
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Ferk off!
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| OH damnit |
[09 Feb 2005|01:20am] |
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Spent the weekend at nat's house for koko's b-day.
I didn't drink so I was kinda bored and ended up getting kinda sick when everyone was falling asleep.
I did miss seeing koko so that was fun.
Spent sunday sleeping and being cranky.
Monday:work sucks.
But you knew that all ready.
Anyway I past my test and in two weeks I take another one and then I'll be ready for college.
I'm going to apply for Columbus Art and Design and Columbia again and that will be that.
I have no clue what's going on this weekend.
Let's all hang out shall we?
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1 comment|Ferk off!
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| OH damnit |
[09 Feb 2005|01:20am] |
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creative |
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Spent the weekend at nat's house for koko's b-day.
I didn't drink so I was kinda bored and ended up getting kinda sick when everyone was falling asleep.
I did miss seeing koko so that was fun.
Spent sunday sleeping and being cranky.
Monday:work sucks.
But you knew that all ready.
Anyway I past my test and in two weeks I take another one and then I'll be ready for college.
I'm going to apply for Columbus Art and Design and Columbia again and that will be that.
I have no clue what's going on this weekdend.
Let's all hang out shall we?
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Ferk off!
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| Don't kill my buzz...please |
[07 Feb 2005|03:48pm] |
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I have been really happy lately.
This is a step up from how ugly things were before.
I'm really okay..
So don't fuck with me
thanxmuch.
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Ferk off!
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| much and such play by play |
[03 Feb 2005|02:17am] |
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mood |
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cranky |
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bright eyes |
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After much much waiting. I have a home computer.
Bout fucking time.
Now I don't have to wait to use one.
I can stay home and play games online all day.
Oh and someone is getting me a scanner, so now I upload my work on my own time.
Yay.
Other news.
I'm broke and can't do much until next week.
Those three weeks of missing work took the toll I guess.
So funds are limited :/.
Not like I was doing much anyhow.
This weekend plans are:
Take a test saturday around 9.
Then go somewhere with the mother.
Then it's off to my friend KoKo's b-day.
This should be fun...since it's penis themed (Gonna have a penis cake and drink wine. we are going to be CLASSY)...
..And I love penis!
I got the new bright eye's album. (Digital ash one..I'm not too keen on getting the other one.
I went to record revolution and this creepy short guy who kept winking at me sold me the advance copy for 8 bucks. So far I think it's a good album and hopefully when he goes on tour with the Faint he comes here.
I don't like it when strange creepy boys on the bus stare at you the whole ride.
This dude with a ponytail kept staring and smiling at me like I was going to jump on his lap or something. Plus the bus smelt like cheese.
Oh how I need a car.
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| I just wanna live ha ha ha |
[28 Jan 2005|11:35am] |
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spaztastic! |
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Combat Rock |
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Thanks to Eri that stupid ass song has been stuck in my head.
So much drama in the air these days god.
Everyone one needs to cheer up and quit being bitches yes yes.
Men suck.
I hate that they can't make up their minds and think it's okay to go after girls to have sex with EVEN though you like already have a girlfriend.
Dishes on the side only apply to food not people. thanksmuch.
This week has been uneventful for the most part.
Execpt Monday when I went running around in my undies drunk.
You can see my half naked ass on the internet. Yay!
Besides that My mother got fired and is having alot of problems finding a place big enough to house her and all of her kids.
But this is my mother she's not worring (sp?) one bit but I am.
I got all this stuff on my mind and it's drving me nuts.
I have no clue how to deal with anything and I keep jumping around jeez life has just come to this big ass stand still and it has yet to keep moving again.
I think I'm slowly dying or something.
Tonight is the big ass party at peabody's.
Anybody's who's anybody will be there.
I will anyhow.
Saturday I HOPEFULLY get my damn computer.
I'm using my Playstation 2 money for the comp and I better get it.
Eri you should feel better.
If another sucka be mean to you Spike will shoot'em in the face.
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1 comment|Ferk off!
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| I'm back |
[20 Jan 2005|06:22pm] |
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Lookie I'm back Kids!
After being infected with an infection for the past 3 weeks I'm finally able to get to a computer.
Nothing much has being going on except for me being sick and unable to move for awhile.
I won't have a real update until tommorrow or saturday. B/c My life is about to change.
This just a post to let you know I'm alive.
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1 comment|Ferk off!
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| x-mas what what. |
[25 Dec 2004|02:49pm] |
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And what did I get for x-mas?
Gift Cards!
It's good to know people care enough to allow you to buy your own shit.
Cash would've been better..but that's asking for too much.
Here's what I ended up with:
$35 Target gift card (I bought hello kitty underwear and a bag with this)
$15 FYE Gift card (This is going towards buying porn,yes yes)
$40 fashion bug gift card (WTF? how am I going to spend 40 bucks at fashion bug? Thanks Grandpa.)
$50 Wal-mart Gift card (Again How am I going to spend 50 bucks at Wal-mart? Thanks Aunt Rhonda and Uncle Vince.)
The other stuff I got:
A Hello Kitty pillow
A DVD/CD player
2 sketchbooks
A very awesome set of Charcoal pencils
And another set of General's pencil set.
A Dartboard
3 dvd movies (2 of which I'm going to sell,b/c they suck)
Yeah x-mas was good. I'm still have to wait for my presents from Jackie and Eri but that's cool cause I gotta buy their stuff Monday anyhow.
Mom is coming over to spend time with me today when I go home.
Spending time with the mother. It's a good thing I like her.
Even though she's nuts.
Me and Eri have been thinking about going somewhere for Eri's b-day. We could go to Los Vegas and stay with my aunt but that means I wouldn't be able to go gamble or go to strip clubs.
We might end up going to chicago or someplace. But we are going somewhere that's for sure.
I'm off for the next couple days.
Work will be for shits for the next couple days b/c the library was close for the holidays AND got shut down thursday so yeah I'm not going for 2 days.
I need to get some cd's soon.
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2 comments|Ferk off!
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| pick the fine day to come to work |
[23 Dec 2004|11:42am] |
Only reason why I'm updating is b/c I'm at work with nothing to do.
Snow is up to my ass.
Don't even know how I got to work.
The library is trying to close but the director is being a dick.
Whatever happend at 80's nite I don't remember.
All I know is i have scrapes and blood in my ear.
That is the last time I go.
The Last time for alot of things.
No more drinking the "rotgut" stuff as mother calls it.
I want to home and go to sleep.
Except I need to work on my picture for the showcase at the library.
I'm going to enter it.
Try to win something.
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| Cuz I carry a switchblade in my backpocket |
[21 Dec 2004|03:33pm] |
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closer |
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The idiot that belongs to the cleveland fun squad is going to personally get his ugly face smashed in by me if he doesn't lay off my friends.
What a fucking Cunt bag and if he thinks he's going to get away with saying the shit he saids, then he's fucking wrong. No one knows how much of an evil little bitch I can be and if he wants to try to hit someone, try hitting me. I bet his bitch ass will walk away bleeding.
I don't take any body's shit. Esp from no fake ass hardcore scene bitch that's for sure.
Calling someone an racist slur doesn't make you cool or clever. No it makes you a total ignorant fuck and it calls for a total beatdown.
All those wannabe hardcore kids are total fucks and the CFS is a big joke.
You all act like you are the shit and get pissed off people don't kiss your ass.
It's such a sad thing to know that this stupid cleveland scene is all you have and you cling to it like a baby clinging onto a mother's tit.
Grow up and get over yourselves.
oh and tell Moshjon that once he's finish sucking on that dick bring his crap to me and make sure his fists are up.
Geez fucking.
They people in this city.
The problems I endure.
Besides that. I've been doing somethings that may have been alittle self destructive. I have a habit of doing that and I'm working on it.
Also working on my temper (haha).
Going x-mas shopping with the mother and trying to get a computer and what not.
nothing much really to say.
I might update one more time before x-mas, but if I don't,
Merry Christmas Everybody!</h2>
shawny
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4 comments|Ferk off!
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| I always know how to pick them |
[18 Dec 2004|03:43pm] |
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Murder by death |
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Heh well alittle update, just to let you know I'm still here.
x-mas is a week away.
The year went fast.
I really do hope those people have my laptop.
I want to become an internet freak again.
Or atleast play the Sims24 hours a day.
Nothiong much going on.
Problems with friends.
having to deal with people picking favorites and fucking up what you thought was a really cool friendship.
Problems with men.
And the fact they forever will piss me off,at the wrong times.
People are lame.
Besides that, I've finish working on the Runawaygirls introduction series.
Girl fights is done and Lost in the Supermarket is on it's way to completion.
Hopfully we find some cool New Years Eve parties.
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1 comment|Ferk off!
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| Product... |
[06 Dec 2004|03:35pm] |
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Bob Dylan |
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So yeah anyway.
I wanted to be very Anti social last week and that didn't work out very well.
The Killers show went along okay. Could have been better.
Oh yeah we meet them too.
Some weird guy with a page boy hat kept gawking at me and then at like the end of the show we (me and Eri) are waiting for the bus and Mr.Page boy hat likes stares at me up and down. This would be okay if he was cute.
Saturday.
I swear I could've stayed at home watching Cops and America's most wanted.
Ended up over at Nat's where I was bored and sleepy and also PMSing.
Everyone was drinking and eating cookies.
Eri was super drunk early on falling everywhere.
And the rest of the lot was in the kitchen talking about things I have no clue about.
Around 12:30 Kolas came with a bunch of people and they headed to the Gay Bar. They didn't know how to get there so I tried to explain how but Kolas ended up making me go with them.
So now I'm at the Gay bar bored watching people.
Man the Gay guys in cleveland are ugly. Really ugly.
Anyway I'm watching people and being made to vogue with some boy.
And all these old swingers were following me around.
I would go to the bathroom and this guy would yank on my hat going ,"Heyyyy babbbyyy." 70 year old perv.
I finallly got back to Nat's and Morgan and his friend was there.
I ended up just leaving and heading home.
Of course I ended up waiting for the bus with this guy who wouldn't shut up.
He was crying on and on about his girlfriend thinking he was cheating on her and she like left him in the middle of norwhere. I started laughing b/c I thought it was funny. This drunk fool was wandering around cleveland not knowing where he was. Classic.
So around 4 am. I get home.
I sleep, get a random call from Eri and then wake up before my grandfather shows up for me to wash.
And that was my weekend.
God.
Man there is a girl at the library with earrings as big as her head,a small cat could jump through them.
DevaintArt.com is my new favorite place.
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| Retract |
[28 Nov 2004|01:51pm] |
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none |
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I'm getting kinda sick.
I have to work for 8 hours tomorrow.
This is gonna suck
I'm going to be leaving Nat's soon.
Probably going to get some food and head home to do some work.
Oh yeah yesterday we went to see my friend's band play.
It was in this real hole in the wall.
In the most creepiest part of town.
We got lost like 10 times.
But the band was really good even tho we didn't stay for the whole set.
We ended up meeting up with Carla, Sarah C and her sister, They drank alittle and got high.
I didn't b/c as of now I plan on not drinking for abit.
Yeah it got old fast.
Any ho,
I got me one of those Deviant Art pages.
thepinkbackpack.deviantart.com
Yeah go to it. Lookie at my art!
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2 comments|Ferk off!
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asheartsbleed's journal
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